My daughter went off to the high school basketball game tonight, the final game of the season against her school's arch rival. (They lost by 2 points in the final minute -- ouch!) I am really happy for her, that she has friends to spend time with and games to go to and teachers who have become far more relaxed with the seniors than they ever were with them as juniors. But here's the thing: her school is a half hour drive away, and she got home about 10:00, after driving those 15 miles by herself in the dark and snow. And here's the other thing: she's five feet tall and weighs about 100 pounds. If she hits a deer out there in the country, or slides off the road, or has some other kind of incident, she's going to be out there trudging around in the dark and snow all by herself.
Tomorrow afternoon she's driving across the city to the other side of town for the first time, to talk to a vet about a possible senior project. She rolls her eyes when I go through the directions, practically block by block, and groans when I mention that the neighborhood she's headed to isn't one of the greatest.
Next week -- tech week for the school musical -- she probably won't ever be home before midnight. Back out on the road, late every night. How could I have ever imagined that someday I would be hoping that the tech crew would decided to camp out together in someone's house on a weeknight? Or that I wouldn't care in the least about the gender mix because I would be so thrilled by the idea of all of them curled up in someone's family room instead of on the road at midnight?
I love that she is an independent, competent, responsible young woman. I love how well she handles herself. I love that the colleges she has applied to outline the perimeter of the United States -- that she is eager for adventure and change. I love that she expects to be able to manage her own life.
Right? I do love all that . . . don't I?
12 comments:
Sure you do, you love it all. But it is scary. Does she have a cell phone? Some call it an electronic umbilical cord for Moms but I call it a little peace of mind.
Watching them take off in the car was unnerving. Suddenly I wasn't there to protect them. So I armed them with cell phones, and road emergency kits that had everything from jumper cables to flash lights. It helped a little. Til of course they left the cell phone at home, or the battery wasn't charged..... They're 19 and 17 now..and it still worries me when they're out driving. Being a Mom never ends. ~Sie
Last little birdie standing at the edge of the nest and flapping her wings...how hard it must be to let them go! By this time next year, she'll be doing all that driving by herself, and all those other things, without you waiting at home worrying. I won't tell you not to worry...just don't worry TOO much! Lisa :-]
Of course you do. It's just hard for you to admit to yourself that your "little girl" isn't a little girl anymore. She's growing up. You're a mom and you do what mom's do best, worry. It'll get better.
Tami
I totally understand! And now I'm raising another one! Was I insane? She'll be fine, mom. Penny
Oh, I remember the first time my older son drove off with his younger brother as passenger. My heart was in my throat. It's more a rite of passage for us than it is for them, I think! Here's hoping you get through this time ok and can laugh about it later.
Vicky (from livejournal - yikes!)
http://www.livejournal.com/~vxv789/
Parenthood is the ultimate scarefest. There are so many traits I've encouraged my daughter to develop, and they still scare me.
LOL! She's wonderful and thriving! Does she have a cell phone? That way she can call for help if she gets stuck somewhere and you can call her to make sure she is okay if she's as much as 5 minutes late getting home! (My mother says cell phones would have made her life so much easier when she was raising 6 teenagers.) Another plus, most cell phones have GPS tracking devices... in case of abductions.... something every mother has probably added to that long list of things to worry about.
Yes, Mom, you do love all that and more. Sounds like this is your first? I went through the same thing last year and now mine is in her second semester in college. Moms will always worry about the minute detail of their kid's life but it get easier as you learn to let them grow.
You know what, my son is 6'3" and weighs more than twice what your daughter weighs and I still have the same worries about him.
hang in there..... what a time. judi
Of course you love it...you just don't feel it yet. Maybe you wish in a way it were you...your turn...again. I think we, all of us (moms) find our daughter's lives intimately almost perversely apart of our own. It's a tough one. But her independence just shows how well you did your job.
Post a Comment