Saturday, February 12, 2005

Queen of Technology

Last night some of us were online discussing the vicissitudes of car ownership (that trip to the shop I'd been postponing?  $900. . . ) and that got me started on how well many of us function in today's high-tech world without a clue as to what's going on:

Me, to car guy:  Well, it makes this noise.  And there was this other round kind of thing that I got replaced recently.....In the front. . . you know, round. . .    .  

Me, to appliance guy:   It's broken.  It made a noise and now it doesn't work.  

Me, to husband:  There's something wrong with AOL.  

Me, to computer guy at school (that one would be a rabbi):  My grades are somewhere out there in space.  But they aren't on the computer.  

Me, to plumber:  There's water on the basement floor.  There's a toilet two stories above the puddle.  I'm guessing there's a connection.  

Me, to chimney guy:  It seems that it's illegal not to have the liner that we haven't had for 90 years.  There's a metal pipe through the middle of the chimney that helps to stabilize it. You have to figure out how to get a liner in there.  I don't want to know how.  

Me, to daughter:   Could you install a new print cartridge?  

Me, to son:  I couldn't understand a word of those directions you emailed me on how to un-install your AIM on my screenname, so I thought I'd wait for you to get home on vacation. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my conversations with your girlfirend, even though she doesn't speak English and I  don't speak French.  

Me, to daughter:   I want to watch a dvd, and I can't find that full page of instructions you wrote out.  

Me:  To my readers:  Thank you for the compliments on the collage a couple of entries back.  Unfortunately, as it turns out, I have no recollection whatever as to how I did that!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

rofl.  you are making me look good.  seriously, with the exception of computer stuff, I am right there with you.  don't know how much works, don't much care.  want it to work when I need it.  don't clutter my life up with more of the stuff that I don't understand than I can help.  As for the computer, I am the friend you call to uninstall the aim, or install the new program or teach you how to find that misfiled Word file.  Don't ask me to reformat a disk or do anything too tricky :>

Anonymous said...

I am lauging like a hyena here.  I do not believe that you are as clueless as you claim, I DO believe that this is one of the funniest entries I have read in weeks!

Anonymous said...

Well, thank goodness we don't need to know all that stuff and we can hire some to do it and get relatives to do the other.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you.....completely baffled by how things function. Computers might as well be magic for all I know about them. If we ever end up having to fend for ourselves, say, when civilization collapses after a civil war, and end up having to recreate everything from scratch....I'm scr**ed.

Anonymous said...

ROTFL.  What an enjoyable entry.  Darn, I really wanted to know how you did that collage.  My mom is the same way.  When the cable guy came with the new remote she had no idea how to work it.
Me to mom:  Duh, it's the same remote, different package.
Mom to me:  Oh!
Me to myself:  ::rolling my eyes towards the ceiling::

Tami

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking the other day about how completely paranoid I used to be about computers.  Thought I am certainly no expert now, I have gotten over feeling like the world will come to an end if I do something wrong.  I just roll up my sleeves and start messing with stuff, and I can usually get it to do what I want eventually.  Lisa  :-]

Anonymous said...

In today's high tech world thank God I have my kids. But even they get tired of me. sigh!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for brightening my morning - great entry!!

Vicky
http://www.livejournal.com/~vxv789/

Anonymous said...

We are kindred spirits. I just say, "It's broken."  Now, with LIVING things, like animals and kids, I am good with diagnosing problems.  But they can communicate back with me!

Anonymous said...

You:  I have no recollection whatever as to how I did that!

Me:  I know!  That's the way creativity works--it comes from the unconscious where there are no rules!  It's weird, wild, exciting, frustrating, marvelous, exhilirating, magical stuff.

Anonymous said...

You are funny!
Virginia

Anonymous said...

Virginia read this to me this morning and we had such a good chuckle over it. If you remember how you did the collage, I would love to hear more about it, or maybe your sone could write us all directions??????

tee hee tee hee. Have a great day! judi

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, whats wrong with all the answers and desciptions? I just know I've said those same things myself. I've yet to figure out what the difference between a sqeek, a squal, a grind, a groan, a clanking and a clunking means in car terms. I just know it's a NOISE.
Rebecca