I'm really, really tired.
There was one day last week when, in the course of an hour, I planned assignments for an 8th grade history class, located music for my daughter to sing at the funeral, and organized a group of recalcitrant seniors headed to the art museum for a class picture.
The days just went on and on. With family coming in from New York to Florida to California, the funeral was scheduled for Saturday, nearly a week after my stepmother's death. My sons came home on Thursday, grouchy after a week of finals, and we hit the road Friday morning. There was a crowded visitation at the funeral home Friday night -- I'm from a small town where my stepmother has four siblings, one of whom is the mayor -- and the funeral itself, a graveside service, and a church luncheon on Saturday. In between all that, I took a few moments to visit a friend whom I have known practically since we were born a week apart 50-odd years ago; her mother had also died last week-end. (And then I came home to the news that a law school classmate and mother of students of mine had lost her mother this week-end.)
Over everything hung the tensions inherent in families steeped in death, divorce, and remarriage: stepsiblings and half-siblings, people once but no longer related through the generations by marriage, people who have never met each other, people who try to pretend that they have never met each other, people who are delighted to meet each other for the first time. And over all of that a fog of loss and sorrow draped itself, as the sure knowledge that a woman who once met the canoe trails of backcountry Canada with gleeful abandon was with us no more.
Yes, I am really, really tired.
11 comments:
Sending hugs your way. Go to sleep and get a good night's rest. Well, try to anyway. You've done all you can for now. Pamela
{{{}}} What a stressful and exhausting time a funeral is. I hope you can get some restful meditation in soon.
The picture is beautiful. Funerals, like weddings have a way of gathering together people in one place, most of them do not really want to be there... Get some rest. http://journals.aol.com/dcmeyer420/DearDiary/
Rest and rejeuvenate. All the best to you and your family.
((((((((Hugs))))))))
I hear you, I feel you, and I feel for you and you entire family...know that others care and send you strength and energy. The picture you chose to post was so perfect...it speaks a thousand heartfelt words. You will get through this day by day...life must go on, here and in the great beyond.
Marlene-PurelyPoetry
It's tough when your normal, busy life can't stop completely when you have to deal with a loved one's death and the surrounding traditions. But then, maybe being really, really tired is a kind of gift. {{{{Robin}}}} Take care! Lisa :-]
my love is with you my friend. judi
I'm sure the exhaustion is both physical and mental for you right now. Visiting with relatives can be very tiring even during "happy" occasions like weddings and Christmas, but you are all dealing with sorrow which makes it that much tougher. I hope everyone rises to the occasion by putting forth their best, most sensitive, behavior.
What very beautiful, serene picture. You've done so much recently. I do hope you can rest. Take care of yourself - you've done a lot of taking care of others.
Vicky
http://www.livejournal.com/users/vxv789/
Very Stressful. Eat well and take care of yourself. And don't forget the vitamins for stress. Lovely photo!
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