For anyone who missed it, Patrick started a bit of a controversy by supporting Starbuck's right to ask a customer to refrain from nursing her baby while patronizing its establishment. All I can say, after another day's thought, is: people need to get a grip. I am frequently waited on at coffee shops and restaurants by young ladies wearing clothing several sizes too small who have apparently given inadequate consideration to coverage of their undergarments and bulging portions of their anatomy. It would seem that no one has suggested that their appearance renders them unacceptable for public employment. But a mom nursing a baby sets off fireworks?
One of my friends put it best and most succinctly: the madonna/whore complex. It's ok for women to expose themselves without a thought to modesty as long as they have no functional purpose in doing so. But let those same women remind you that their breasts exist for a reason other than sexual enticement and people just FREAK OUT.
I admit that I don't have the whole story -- maybe the lady was flappin' 'em all over the place. Or maybe Starbucks decided that it preferred catering to someone who protested a lady's activities, instead of the lady herself. Their loss: I know from two decades of experience that groups of mothers can be extraordinarily loyal and extremely frequent coffee shop customers -- a lucrative market indeed.
Well, that was kind of fun. I haven't had that discussion in years and years. And, in the interests of full disclosure: I would have been personally and deeply offended had someone asked me to "cover up" while breastfeeding (although I doubt that too many people were ever aware that I was).
In fact, I've just crossed Starbucks off my list.
Walked: 5 miles.
5 comments:
Just for the record, Starbucks apparently never asked the woman NOT to breast feed while in the restaurant...they merely asked that she either cover herself or go to the ladies' room.
Likewise, just for the record, I never supported their "right" to prevent her from nursing while in the restaurant; I merely said that I think the store should at least have the right to ask the woman to cover up if they feel she isn't being discreet...especially if other customers complain first that they are offended. It's a business, after all.
It's unfortunate that the mothers in question seem to think it's okay to tell other customers to "deal with it" if they don't like it, when they so completely resent being told the exact same thing themselves.
Compromise, it seems, is rapidly becoming a lost art these days. I don't know why a mother who is breast feeding discreetly would even attract attention, much less complaints.
Patrick
I apologize for misrepresenting your position.
I guess the obvious compromise is that nursing Starucks customers can go elsewhere.
I agree with you, I would rather see a woman breastfeed, than some of the exposure of fashion that I see. I have done numerous Whore/Madonna papers in college, and this fits perfectly. We want breast for sex not milk, said the masses
I just visited Patrick's original journal entry, and this is the comment I posted there:
Several years ago, I was a member of a church group that was really gung-ho about breastfeeding. HOWEVER, these women, being Christians, all knew how to breastfeed in public without "exposing" themselves. It was a simple matter of throwing a blanket over the baby/breast while the child nursed. These women were Christians, breast-feeders, AND modest. It worked for everyone.
I suppose it IS a sad commentary on our society that women using their breasts for the purpose for which they were intended, in public, is a controversial issue. But what is, IS. If our society, as a whole, is unable to deal with this particular "natural" function, then breast-feeding women need to take that into consideration. Lisa :-]
I appreciated your perspective here. Great entry. judi
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